Two words: gastrointestinal distress
四個(gè)字：腸胃不適
Even if you manage to choose a restaurant with an appealing menu and reasonable prices -- both of those are BIG ifs! -- you're still running a dangerous risk by trusting your stomach to do the right thing. Our gastrointestinal systems work in mysterious ways, and there's no telling if or when two seemingly innocuous foods might have an unexpected reaction that will lead to embarrassing results.
如果你選到了一家菜品美味、價(jià)格合理的餐廳（大寫的"如果"）,即使你覺得你的腸胃到時(shí)候可以正常運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn),那么你還是冒了很大的風(fēng)險(xiǎn).我們的腸胃系統(tǒng)運(yùn)作方式非常神秘,不會(huì)提前告訴你：是否以及何時(shí),兩種看上去相安無事的食物會(huì)發(fā)生意想不到的反應(yīng),并導(dǎo)致非常尷尬的結(jié)果.
There are a million different factors working simultaneously to determine if and when your food will disagree with you. Even ordering an old favorite doesn't guarantee that it won't send you racing to the bathroom halfway through your meal, or force you to make the impossible choice between whether to let one rip (and hope your date doesn't hear) or bravely try to hold it in.
你的食物什么時(shí)候會(huì)在體內(nèi)作怪是百萬個(gè)因素共同作用的結(jié)果.即使點(diǎn)你一直喜歡的菜也不能保證你在吃到一半時(shí)不會(huì)沖向衛(wèi)生間,或者你猶豫一番,到底是排下氣呢（還要祈禱你的約會(huì)對(duì)象不會(huì)聽到）,還是勇敢地忍住——這種選擇真是兩難啊.
And if you did order that garlic bread and onion soup? Well, I just hope you carry an emergency supply of breath-freshening mints in your pocket at all times. Otherwise, you're screwed.
如果你確實(shí)點(diǎn)了蒜蓉面包和洋蔥湯呢？這樣的話,我希望你隨時(shí)隨地?cái)y帶救急用的口氣清新薄荷糖.否則的話,你就完了.
It's like a job interview, only worse
就像面試一樣,只是比面試更糟
Even when I'm out with a familiar face, I prefer to sit next to the person, rather than across from them. It's cozier, more intimate, and less confrontational. Bonus: it puts you in prime position to snag a bite off their plate before they can fight back.
即使我是和熟人一起出去吃飯的,我也更喜歡坐在那人旁邊,而不是與他面對(duì)面.這樣更舒適,也更親密,也不顯得太對(duì)立.給你點(diǎn)兒額外福利：這個(gè)位置使你能在他們還沒反應(yīng)過來的時(shí)候,從他們的盤子里搶一口吃的.
Sitting across from someone in a one-on-one setting is far too reminiscent of an interview, especially given all the questions you'll be asking each other. Unless, of course, you're stuck in perpetual awkward silence, which is far, far worse. In fact, a lot of dating advice columns have pointed out the similarities between a first date and a job interview: in both cases, you're dressing up and trying to put your best foot forward in the hopes of securing a callback.
和某人面對(duì)面坐著簡(jiǎn)直太像面試了,特別是你們還要問對(duì)方很多問題.當(dāng)然,除非你們處在長(zhǎng)時(shí)間尷尬的沉默中才能不像面試,但那樣會(huì)比糟糕更糟.事實(shí)上,很多約會(huì)建議專欄都說過第一次約會(huì)和面試的相似之處：在這兩個(gè)情境中,你都會(huì)打扮得光鮮亮麗,試圖給人留下個(gè)好印象,期待著能有下次.
Realizing the connection, of course, only makes it seem that much more nerve-wracking. At least at the end of a job interview, you get to go home knowing you'll never have to see that person again unless they actually liked you. Rarely will you get so lucky in the world of romance.
意識(shí)到這些聯(lián)系,當(dāng)然只會(huì)讓約會(huì)看起來更令人精神緊張.至少,在面試后,你在回家的路上就知道,你永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)再見到他了,除非那個(gè)人確實(shí)喜歡你.而你在情場(chǎng)中很少能有這么好的運(yùn)氣.
Nerves, of course, are part and parcel of a first date. So why would you want to put yourself in a situation that'll just ramp up the anxiety even more?
當(dāng)然,第一次約會(huì)的時(shí)候緊張不可避免 .那么為什么你還要把自己置于緊張的情境中,加劇自己的焦慮呢？
