11 FIFA World Cup rules for my wife

2014-06-09 15:19 China Daily Web Editor: Yao Lan

11 FIFA World Cup rules for my wife

My Dear Wife,

The FIFA World cup is around the corner, so let me give you a few rules that will help us during the months of June and July:

1. The Television set's remote control belongs to me for the whole month.

2. You should not walk in front of TV whenever I am watching any match, you better freeze where you are or crawl on the floor.

3. You must support the same team I support.

4. No talking during the games, wait until Half-time or end of the game.

5. Repeats and match Highlights are as good as live matches, So I will watch them too.

6. We can see movies/home videos provided actors and actresses are wearing soccer jerseys and they are in Brazil.

7. Tell all your friends not to give birth or get married during the World Cup because we won't have time to attend their ceremonies.

8. Make sure you don't ask silly questions such as; is that Chelsea versus China? (Chelsea is a football club in England and China is not participating in this year's world cup finals) .

9. No funny faces to my friends whenever they come to watch matches with me.

10. Smile every time EXCEPT when my team is losing ...hope you get me clear?

11. Your baby must not cry during any match , it's better you drugged him or her with Breast milk.

世界杯期間我為妻子擬定的11條鐵律

致親愛的妻子，

世界杯在即，為了在六月和七月能友好相處，請允許我與您約法三章。

1.電視遙控器歸我掌控一個月。

2.我看比賽的時候請不要擋住我的視線，或者站立不動，或者趴在地板上。

3.請務必和我支持同一球隊。

4.比賽期間請保持安靜，有話請等到中場休息或者比賽結(jié)束。

5.重播和精彩瞬間與現(xiàn)場直播同等重要，我也不能錯過。

6.如果男演員和女演員穿著球衣，故事也發(fā)生在巴西，看看他們演的電影或者家庭錄像也是可以的。

7.通知你的朋友們，世界杯期間不要結(jié)婚生子，因為我們沒有時間參加典禮。

8.請保證不要問我以下愚蠢問題：這是切爾西對中國的比賽么？（切爾西是英國的足球俱樂部，而中國并沒有進入這次世界杯決賽圈。）

9.我的朋友們來家里和我一起看球的時候不要鬧笑話。

10.除了我支持的球隊輸球的時候，你想怎么笑都可以……我說清楚了么？

11.比賽期間保證孩子不要哭鬧，哭的時候就給他喂奶。