Big mystery behind washing the smalls

Within my circle of friends, we often discuss aspects of Chinese culture that dumbfound us. One mystery that never ceases to puzzle us is why Chinese women never wash their underwear in the washing machine. Put simply, Chinese laundry protocol is very confusing. After all, how does one decide which part of one's body is dirtiest? Paradoxically, Chinese dry cleaners accept neither socks nor underwear, which only proves that feet and the body part they grow from can be equally filthy.

My Chinese girlfriend's mother has got a whole system for laundry. No matter how hard I try, I can't understand her algorithm. To escape the embarrassment of my underwear being washed by somebody I'm supposed to respect, I tend to shove it deep inside the washing machine.

The youngest member of the household, my girlfriend's five-year-old daughter, does not go to the extra effort. Even if she did, her grandma would dig her little underwear and undershirts out and scrub them by hand. Her jackets and pants are graciously washed with the rest of the load.

Who in the world came up with the idea that children are generally cleaner than adults? I love my girlfriend's daughter, but it doesn't change the fact that she is one of the filthiest little creatures I have been in close contact with since I left kindergarten.

If I am dirtier than this charming, smiling youngster, how is she - who rolls down muddy hills in the park and smears boogers on her pants - deemed to have cleaner clothes than me?

I may not be the cleanest person in the world, but I don't try to taste tree branches and rocks which I pick up from Beijing sidewalks. Nor do I pat shedding cats, kiss dusty sculptures in the park or lick the wheels of my rollerblades. I wash my hands and change my clothes by my own initiative without multiple reminders.

Kids are wonders, but this fact doesn't make them less filthy. Their poop is no less stinky as far as I can smell.

To that extent, I am convinced that neither mine nor an adorable five-year-old girl's underwear or socks have any more or any less privilege to be part of the common wash load. I've learned to trust washing machines the same way I trust cars, cell phones and Apple gadgets. Unsurprisingly, it would be hard to convert millions of Chinese housewives to have such blind faith in technology.