All the single men

As couples across the country prepare to celebrate their love tomorrow for Valentine's Day, many Chinese men are bracing for the day as a grim reminder of their dwindling chances to get a date and settle down with a wife. China's gender imbalance, a direct consequence of the country's one-child policy and favoritism of sons, has been deepening since the 1970s.

Discussion of the topic intensified on microblogging website Weibo a couple of weeks ago, when thousands of bachelors re-posted the viral tagline that "a wife has become a luxury good." It comes amid predictions the bachelor crisis will worsen this year, with estimations the number of single men in China will swell by 10 million. The long-term outlook appears equally pessimistic, with 24 million men likely to find themselves unable to find women to marry by 2020, according to the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences.

Battle of the sexes

"There are fewer women who are suitable to be wives than before. Where can I find a good wife?" wailed a Web user named Da Fanfan. "There are eight bachelors in my family, including my older brother who's already 33 years old. It's terrible," decried another microblogger named Yang Wen Garay. Another male Web user surnamed Chang complained that even though he has a decent job, car and apartment, he doesn't have the opportunity to meet women because of work and is often turned down because of his short height. A sympathetic netizen named Zhang Tianbao responded: "Paying the bills is hard, but finding a wife is much harder!"

The tagline went viral, with one female Web user telling Chinese media that having a wife has become "the sign of a successful man."

"I'm 31 and I'm under a lot of pressure from my family to find a wife, but life in Beijing is too demanding and expensive," a man surnamed Xu told the Global Times. Xu works in Beijing in human resources, and regrets having left his former girlfriend when he relocated to Beijing. "I don't think age is the most important criteria in finding a suitable wife. I might settle for a divorced woman or one with children from a previous relationship, depending on her reasons for wanting to remarry," Xu said.

Single Chinese women might have odds in their favor, but they share similar complaints. "Chinese men don't understand women who delay getting married because they want a career, or are simply waiting to find the right guy," said Yang Shuo, 29, who works as a translator. "I have many unhappy friends who married in their 20s to comply with family and social traditions. It's no wonder that the divorce rate keeps going up."

Furthermore, married women are under no illusions about their value in society. A female Web user named E Mozhiwen posted online: "Whenever my husband complains and doesn't treasure what he has, I remind him how hard it is to find a wife."

Hurdles in dating

The recent crackdown on reality dating TV shows and matchmaking websites has further dented bachelors' fading hopes of finding a wife. "Recently I was trying to cooperate with one of the biggest Chinese dating websites, but it closed under official orders," said Ola Zdzarska, the Polish founder of Fishbowl Events, a Beijing-based company that organizes regular dating events.

"Chinese authorities still don't approve of large-scale matchmaking between Chinese and foreigners," she added, suggesting that greater cultural and sexual tolerance could help tackle the issue.

Since Fishbowl Events started operating in 2007, the percentage of male participants has risen about 50 percent. "Of course it's true what single Chinese men are saying. Aside from the gender imbalance, women are very demanding. They want a husband who isn't only handsome and caring, but also earns a lot, has a big apartment and a nice car," Zdzarska said.

"The Internet is a good way to find a wife. It saves time and money, you can narrow down your search criteria and it's convenient for those who have no time to date. Suitable men will still find a wife," assured Gong Haiyan, founder of online dating service Jiayuan.

Jiayuan has 50 million registered users, however is only available to heterosexual Chinese singles. An English version of Jiayun that could potentially connect foreign women with Chinese bachelors is still devised.

Fewer births, aging society

The exodus of women from rural areas to big cities has worsened the gender imbalance outside first-tier cities.

Some government policies encourage men to tie the knot, even if it's with an outsider. In December last year, Yalou county in Guizhou Province offered men 3,000 yuan (US$476.35) if they married women from outside the county. Experts warn that the disproportionate number of males threatens social stability.

"The family planning policy currently promotes fewer births and is accelerating our aging society," said Professor Xia Xueluan from the sociology department at Peking University. "Some cities have more relaxed rules, such as if both parents are single children they can have two children."

Professor Xia also voiced his support for dating TV shows.

"The government didn't have to ban all dating shows. The ones with commercial purposes and those that promote fake relationships warranted being cancelled, but others offered a way for young men and women to meet and understand each others' needs better."

Both Xia and Zdzarska agree that Chinese men should be more open-minded about finding a wife. "Chinese men prefer women who haven't married, which narrows down their options. As for other women who prefer not to marry or chose to do so after their 30s, it's a different case. These women are often educated and have good salaries, which intimidates Chinese men," said Professor Xia.

China's gender imbalance

118.08 males born for every 100 females in 2010, up from 116.9 males for every 100 females in 2000.

30 percent more men of marriageable age than women predicted by 2016.

Single male population by 2017: 30 million. By 2022: 40 million.

Source: China's 2010 Census